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Get Some South in Yo’ Mouth!: Lola Dean’s Time-Tested Tips for the Ultimate Blow Job Performance

March 14th, 2010 · 4 Comments

If you’re thinking of giving your lover(s) the royal treatment on “Steak and Blow Job Day,” I would encourage you to brush up on your oral service skills to make the holiday special and unforgettable. A full belly can only be complemented by a great blow job, so take your task seriously, and your sweetheart(s) will sing your praises…quite literally. Many of us (but certainly not all) queer femmes service our lover(s)’ not-so-permanent cocks (i.e. dildos and toys), and while this is my specialty, I think these tips can be applied across the board for all body types and genders. First, remember this is a performance, so show us what you got! You are front and center, so pull all the stops, and dazzle your sweetheart by following these three tips:

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Tags: Fat Femme Foodie · Glitter on the Mattress · Queer Oprah

Winter is Style Phobic

February 11th, 2010 · 4 Comments

Let’s be real–winter is just plain stylephobic. It’s a lot harder to be cute in the cold, what with all of the layering and the arduous task of putting on coats, gloves, hats, and special shoes just to leave your house. I grew up in California and didn’t experience my first real winter until I was 21. A decade later I’m still not over the novelty and annoyance.

I have come up with some ideas as to how to inject style and sass into your winter blah blah blahs for not a lot of money.

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Tags: Fatshion · girl you look expensive

New Year’s Revolutions

December 31st, 2009 · 5 Comments

It’s hard to actually make resolutions for a lot of people, because those set you up to fail. I am really goal-oriented and once I realized that my Revolutions have to actually be attainable, I have had some great success with my New Year’s Revolutions. The key is to make them intentional and realistic.

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Tags: Queer Oprah

Girl You Look Expensive: Alysia Angel

August 18th, 2009 · 2 Comments

In 20 years I haven’t changed a thing about my approach to buying
nearly everything second hand, making it my own, reinventing what
personal style means. I have dedicated myself to fashion without ever
looking to magazines or books for help. I have dedicated my body to be
a canvass, a color palette, a target for material. I am a slave to a
“perfect” dress, a perfect pink shell top, a kitschy vintage pin, a
large and gorgeous clutch, a hot pair of heels, an accordion skirt in
an interesting color.

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Tags: Fatshion · girl you look expensive

Brian says this man was sent to me by Jesus

January 10th, 2009 · 2 Comments

“Oh Luis, if I weren’t a lesbian I’d have such a crush on you.” He then told me about his daughter who is a lesbian. She’s in her mid-twenties and he said, “I just love her so much but I feel like I failed as a father.”

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Tags: Glitter on the Front Porch · Glitter on the Mattress · Queer Fat Femme and the City · Queer Oprah

Survival Skills

December 31st, 2008 · 2 Comments

And he is absolutely right. Being able to recognize when you need help and being open and available to receiving help is absolutely a survival skill.

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Tags: Glitter on the Front Porch · Queer Fat Femme and the City · Queer Oprah