Boss Up with Bevin Your dream life is at the end of your comfort zone

2015-05-24

Rebel Cupcake Dance Party and Cabaret Returns One Night Only June 19th

Hello beloved readers from all over and NYC friends! After a lengthy hiatus, Rebel Cupcake returns one night only for a special engagement at a huge venue with a lot of intention! This is a great event to come to town for in June! The night before the Mermaid Parade at Coney Island!

4777784616_d9d471f45b_zMe, Femmeceeing at Rebel Cupcake 3: Rebel Cupcakes at the Beach. Photo by Nogga Schwartz. You can tell it’s NYC summer in the photos for that show because everyone is glistening from the humidity!

Rebel Cupcake is not just a queer dance party, it is an intentionally body positive space where all bodies are good bodies and everyone’s flamboyance is encouraged and supported. It’s incredible dance jams with lots of room to move. It’s in an accessible space with gender neutral restrooms, a rarity in NYC nightlife venues. It has a 30 minute cabaret with three show stopping acts by diverse artists.

I Femmecee Rebel Cupcake and it is always my favorite thing to present the art I’ve curated with the crowd. When I started doing body positive nightlife I knew a show was important in setting a tone for the evening. It also really helps ease social anxiety and encourages people to mingle–I even give a moment for everyone who is looking to meet folks for make-outs or flirts to raise their hand. People have met their long term partners and besties at Rebel Cupcake! (And if you’re not looking to meet anyone and just dance, there’s space for that too of course!)

16774059314_72a62c4155_bMe and Fancy Feast, our long time resident Stage Kitten who got her start as a stage kitten for the Rebel Cupcake stage and is now a big-time burlesque artist in the NYC scene! Photo by Kelsey Dickey from the June 2012 Rebel Cupcake: Let’s Get Physical.

The theme this time around is Time of Our Lives, which is a riff on the newish dance jam by Pitbull and Ne-Yo about going out and partying even though shit in life is rough, and also a nod to Dirty Dancing because it’s a classic movie that was one of my favorites growing up. I always felt like Baby did going into that dirty dancing party back in the worker area of that resort when I started going out to bars and parties. Even now my social anxiety flares up in a new queer dance space. It’s always my hope to dispel that for folks as quickly as possible at my events!

For our June 19th show, I’ve engaged the services of the AMAZING DJ Precolumbian from Philadelphia. Here’s her bio, she’s extremely talented. Listen to her soundcloud!!

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Precolumbian is a Philadelphia-based genderqueer dj, musician, and media activist. Weaving together her Latina/Andina and Queer/Trans ancestries, her work operates as a medium for empowerment, decolonization, and community building. She has been transforming dance floors from Brooklyn to Mexico City, sharing the stage with Big Freedia, Kid Sister, Niña Dioz, A Tribe Called Red, Le1f, Cakes Da Killa and more. Precolumbian was honored with the 2013 Leeway Transformation Award for her innovative work in the club and she was a 2015 Official SXSW Showcasing Artist. Soundcloud: http://soundcloud.com/precolumbian, MTV Iggy: http://ow.ly/M6G71, Electric-LLama: http://ow.ly/M6GcN, The Media: http://ow.ly/MEXGi

Since this dance party is a celebration of life of sorts, I asked the artists to bring numbers along the theme of “What gives you life.” These are all folks who have done show stoppers before and I’m so excited to have them.

1492213_10201133982331866_567117264_oPhoto of Mizz June by Kelsey Dickey from Rebel Cupcake: BDSM Holiday Party.
Mizz June is one of my favorite people and her music and performance is so captivating. She’s the kind of person you see on stage and never forget.

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Merrie Cherry is on fire with charisma. She’s a drag queen based in the Bushwick drag scene. She commands a room (I’ve seen folks in bars stop their side conversations transfixed by Merrie Cherry onstage) and I know in the next couple of years she’ll be a household name. (Read this article about why she’s everything)

1266088_10200733798247514_697370623_oPhoto by Kelsey Dickey from Rebel Cupcake: The Craft. There’s been a lot of mash-ups of BDSM and witchy spirituality at Rebel Cupcake!
Miss Mary Wanna has the most unique shimmy of anyone I know in burlesque and she’s bringing ROLLER SKATING BURLESQUE to the Rebel Cupcake stage. It’s an honor to have the facilities to host that kind of epic act.

1272782_10200733802567622_84972401_oPhoto by Kelsey Dickey.

Special Guest Party Host and one of my favorite fat queers Devon Devine of the legendary Hard French party in San Francisco will be joining us!
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Party Host: DJ David John Sokolowski of Hot Fruit / Psychic Spring/Summer/Fall/Winter

When I first started flyering for Rebel Cupcake in 2010 folks asked if there would be cupcakes and I said “Of course!” Which meant before every party I was making several dozen mini cupcakes. Until I prayed to the Goddess for someone to relieve me of the job and she blessed me with Morgan. She has been the Cupcake Princess for Rebel Cupcake for a long time. She’s a gourmet chef and baker, though it is not her all the time gig. (I can imagine if she ever decided to open a bakery or cafe she would be wildly successful, but I kind of love that it’s special just for Rebel Cupcake and folks lucky enough to know her to eat her delicious one of a kind cupcakes.) We’ll have gluten-free/vegan and a boozy gluteny version, free!

131170_4067480605562_1576758754_oHaving Morgan talk about the cupcakes on stage at the Rebel Cupcake: Toddlers and Tiaras show. She’s sooo good with a theme! Photo by Kelsey Dickey.

One of my favorite memories of Rebel Cupcake are her International No Diet Day cupcakes in 2013–she riffed off of grapefruit, reclaiming it from previous bad diets!

135211_4067475925445_1999806388_oIn hindsight I should have been archiving the photos of Morgan’s cupcakes with the description of the ingredients! Photo by Kelsey Dickey.

Photos by Kelsey Dickey, our longtime Rebel Cupcake photographer.

1269191_10200733807367742_1043340212_oPhoto by Kelsey Dickey.

I was especially inspired to bring back Rebel Cupcake as a way to channel grief from losing two friends this March. Both were under 40 and one (Taueret) was a close friend of mine when I started Rebel Cupcake. She’s in so many of the photos from Rebel Cupcake when it was a monthly party, performed a couple of times and helped inspire several of the themes.

4777152381_bfe59cf329_zTaueret at the third Rebel Cupcake, adding some sizzle to Bambi Galore’s burlesque act. It was a really hot moment! Photo by Nogga Schwartz.

1417776_10201133974091660_1964427268_oTaueret at the most recent Rebel Cupcake (December 2013, BDSM Holiday Party Rebel Cupcake) with Fureigh, Vic and Dusty playing Leather Daddy Santa. Photo by Kelsey Dickey.

4356548063_a3bfb905ec_zPhoto of DJ Sirlinda by DJ Lil Ray.

My friend DJ Sirlinda, who passed in 2012, was part of the very first few Rebel Cupcakes as the DJ. I wanted to honor folks who we danced with by an altar at the side of the stage. Please feel free to bring something (a photo, keepsake, token) that symbolizes a friend you’ve lose who you used to dance with to add to the altar.

Here are all the details. In case you hate waiting in line at party o’clock, advanced tickets get a priority entry line and are a bit cheaper than the door price!

Friday, June 19th, 2015 * Brooklyn, NY
Bevin Branlandingham Presents
Rebel Cupcake: Time of Our Lives
Littlefield, 622 Degraw St., between 3rd & 4th Aves, Gowanus, BK
Trains: 2, 3, 4, 5, B, D, N, or Q to the Atlantic Terminal, F or G to Carroll
$10 pre sale tickets–priority entry line / $13 at the door
11PM Doors and mingling / 12AM Show

Rebel Cupcake is a body positive queer dance party for all shapes and flavors! Time of Our Lives is about dancing even though things are rough. It’s about the human desire to have a great time. Dance because it feels good. Dance because the music is amazing. Dance in honor of someone you lost you used to dance with. Or just come party with your friends.

Wear: Whatever makes you feel your 100% most authentic and fabulous self. Wear that outfit you can’t wear anywhere else. Wear short shorts for the first time. Wear what gives you life.

Rebel Cupcake began on International No Diet Day in 2010 and has received the following accolades:
*One of the 50 Reasons NYC is the Greatest City in the World, Time Out New York
*Most Eclectic Party, Go Magazine Nightlife Awards
*Best Emcee: Bevin Branlandingham, Go Magazine Nightlife Awards
*But best of all, the repeat compliment, “This is the party I’m most comfortable being my authentic self.”

Accessibility notes: The venue is wheelchair accessible. There are gender neutral single occupancy restrooms. Street parking near the venue. There’s a lounge area in the front of the venue with real chairs. The stage area is standing room, the show will be less than 30 minutes and if you need a chair for show accessibility I can reserve one for you, email queerfatfemme at gmail.com

830264_4533038204211_445095766_oTwerking at Rebel Cupcake: No Pants No Problem February 2013 party. Photo by Kelsey Dickey.

2013-05-06

Three Ways to Reclaim Food Awesomeness on International No Diet Day

Today, May 6th, is International No Diet Day. I used to throw parties every year for it, but now I throw body positive parties all the time so I just have a quiet observation. I thought this was a great occasion to go through three ways that I like to reclaim my consciousness, self-esteem and eating habits from the scars of an early lifetime of dieting.

1. Participate in an act of food celebration.

There are lots of ways to celebrate food! You could have a treat! You could make a meal for friends. You could see one way in which you are not gentle with yourself about food in your brain and try to turn that off for a meal. You could stick a cupcake in your cleavage and get someone to eat it! Eat something awesome and take 5 times as long to eat it so you really taste and savor it. There are so many creative ways to eat in new and celebratory ways that reclaim food from the shame circle of dieting!

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Photo by Kelsey Dickey, cupcakes by Morgan.

2. Make peace with “diet” foods you have abused or hated in the past.

I was very inspired by Morgan, the Cupcake Princess for Rebel Cupcake (I pay for her supplies and transport and she brings 100 gourmet mini cupcakes). The cupcake is generally related to the theme and sometimes how it gets there is very complex and always artistic. She got up on stage on Thursday for our “Riots Not Diets” theme to explain her cupcakes. She had been on seventeen diets in her life, including the grapefruit and coffee diet. She tricked herself into believing lemon made things taste better (like helping you forget diet coke is diet). She called oranges “dessert” food. But grapefruits can be great! Candied! Grilled with fennel! A million things! Meyer lemons are truly a fruit from the goddess!

So in order to reclaim her relationship with citrus, the cupcakes were blood orange with a meyer lemon grapefruit butter cream and some kind of citrus sugar drizzle. They were delicious.

Are there foods you only associate with dieting that you could find ways to rearrange your feelings towards in a fun and different ways?

3. Take concrete steps towards re-wiring your brain about food.

I notice that sometimes I feel really cloudy about certain food. Like, there’s so much you hear in the media about how certain foods are bad, but sometimes these foods aren’t always bad all the time. (Saturated fat, for example, I’ve heard isn’t all bad from all sources.) There’s just so much conflicting and complicated information about food. When you’ve had a lifetime of dieting, avoiding certain foods, being vigilant about packaging, etc, it can sometimes end up a jumble in your brain and make it really hard to make a basic decision like “what’s for lunch?”

Part of Health at Every Size is intuitive eating–becoming the expert about your own body and what foods work for you. Reclaiming “balanced” eating to actually just mean eating foods that, together, help you feel awesome in your body at its present shape and size.

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An act of food celebration. Photo by Nicole Myles.

For example, I can’t eat kale, it just tears up my digestion. But kale is great for many other people. There are a lot of resources out there and nutritionists who can help you learn what works for your body. I’m starting to work with a holistic health and wellness coach (who is an explicitly body positive, fat positive nurse practitioner and a trusted friend) to learn what works for my body. I’m excited to see what develops and how it can help me feel less foggy about food and make choices that are more in line with my personal health at every size goals.

A No Diet Day exercise for you could be to think about what you want to learn about your body. Do some journaling about whether and how you want to learn about how eating greens makes you feel, what “balanced” eating looks like for you and how you can reclaim it from your diet shadow.

Happy International No Diet Day!

P.S. I wrote an article about the advice I give my friends when they set out to buy a new home on my other blog if you care to read. The One Thing You Can Do to Save Thousands of Dollars on Your Home Purchase

2013-04-25

May NYC Queer Nightlife Events: Rebel Cupcake May 2nd Anniversary and May 10th Yes Ma’am Takes on a Friday Night

May is coming next week and I can hardly believe it. I’m really excited about what I have planned and I wanted to give people a head’s up if they wanted to plan to travel into NYC for any or all of these events. (Hint: the answer is yes, you want to plan travel.)

Rebel Cupcake is turning three!! I started the party on International No Diet Day three years ago in 2010! My mind is blown at how much has happened in that time and I’m also really grateful Rebel Cupcake is still going on. This month’s theme is Riots Not Diets, which is appropriately celebratory of International No Diet Day and the strong Riot Grrrl roots of the party. (I named it after Bikini Kill’s “Rebel Girl,” but imagining that the Rebel Girl was a Queer Fat Femme.)

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Even better, we’re bringing in DJ Shomi Noise, who was the original DJ (along with DJ Sirlinda, who held down the second shift) for the party! She did the first six or so Rebel Cupcakes! I’m excited to have some strong Riot Grrrl in the house for the anniversary. DJ Shomi Noise also spins regularly at Hot Rabbit, the other party baby of the promoter behind Sweet Fox, our co-conspirator in this current incarnation of Rebel Cupcake. (It’s so complicated! But not, actually, just come and dance. And pepper your workday with hot jams by listening to Shomi’s Sound Cloud, which is what I did yesterday.)

Shomi Noise at Sweet Fox
Photo by Gizelle Peters for Sweet Fox.

I’m also deeply grateful to have Miss Mary Wanna up from Philly. She is one of the hardcore regular performers at Rebel Cupcake and represented us in the Miss Lez pageant last year. Her shimmy is one of a kind and her burlesque is more storytelling than just strip tease (though there’s plenty of that, too). The last time she performed at RC in January she deep throated two sticks of butter in an homage to Dolly Parton and Paula Deen.

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Photo by Kelsey Dickey.

Sequinette is a NYC Femme Drag Persona who has never actually performed at Rebel Cupcake. I’m really glad to rectify that next Thursday and pop another RC cherry.

Sequinette
Photo by Gabi Porter.

Here’s all the info on the party!

Thursday, May 2nd, 2013 * New York, NY
Bevin Branlandingham & Boy Wonder Events Present
Rebel Cupcake & Sweet Fox: Mariah Carey Tribute
10PM-4AM Dancing; show 11ish * $5, $7 after midnight
Late night dancing til 4a
Lit Lounge: 93 2nd Ave @ 6th Street, Manhattan, NY
(F to 2nd Ave, 6 to Astor Place, L to 3rd Ave)


Okay, so Yes Ma’am is all full of big plans for the summertime. Starting on May 10th (which is a Friday, we’re mixing it up) we are OPENING THE BACKYARD OF THE MANSION. The chatio feel that I wanted so much for this party begins again! I love an outdoor space where you get to walk away from the loud loud music and just chill out, talk to some folks, get the gossip, maybe chat up that hottie you were grinding with.

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Photo by Kelsy Chauvin of the foyer of the mansion (where Jo spins). We’re giving the raffle money from the first few months of the party to the owner of a business that got shut down by Hurricane Sandy.

AND GET THIS!! Not only do we have a chatio right in back of our mansion, but it’s got a cafe! And the cafe owner, Lloyd, is setting up a BBQ!! When we met with Lloyd I was like, “Will you make sure there’s a vegetarian option on the grill? Please don’t take this to mean I’m not meat positive because I am totally meat positive. I just know there will be some hungry vegans, too.”

Lloyd and his wife Hillary had the BBQ booth at Bed Stuy Pride last summer, if you made it to that. I was there but was just coming from brunch so I didn’t partake but everyone was talking about how awesome the BBQ was.

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Mizz June, selling June-O shots! Photo by Kelsy Chauvin.

And if that wasn’t good enough, our bartender Jacqueline, is plotting a new summertime mojito punch! Four bucks! And three new shots, including one using a basil-infused vodka. And Miz June is back selling June-O shots. They are seriously delicious. And June is also a babe! WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN.

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Our bartenders Jacqueline and Khara. Photo by Kelsy Chauvin.

Babes, BBQ, Basil Vodka. Seriously, May 10th. This party is going to be incredible.

Friday, May 10, 2013 * Brooklyn, NY
Bevin Branlandingham, Nicky Cutler and DJ Average Jo Present
Yes Ma’am
10PM-3AM Dancing * $7
($2 off admission if you are on our email list)
CASH BAR
375 Stuyvesant Ave @ Decatur, Brooklyn, NY
Bed Stuy/Crown Heights border (2 blocks from Utica Ave A/C train)

Save these dates for Yes Ma’aming!

May 22nd: Trans Womyn Belong Here Benefit at Stonewall! 10p-2am, stop by, dance to amazing DJ Average Jo and get in on some deeply amazing raffle prizes.

May 26th: Memorial Day Weekend we have a Sunday afternoon party in the works. More info to come, but start looking for your best Kentucky Derby wear now. Big hats, suspenders, etc.

June 7th: Brooklyn Pride Weekend will be a big destination! Yes Ma’am is getting the second floor of the mansion, we’re having the backyard (BABES BBQ BASIL VODKA) again and we’re adding DJ D’Hana Perry into the mix. Friday–Yes Ma’am, Saturday–Brooklyn Pride Festival, Sunday–Big Fat Flea in Manhattan. Big ol’ weekend of body positive queer fun.

2009-05-07

International No Diet Day!

I finally have the internet again! I’m in my new place, greatly relieved to be reunited with my stuff, have my Muppet Pets settled in and be slowly but surely creating a space that is the sort of sanctuary I haven’t had in quite some time!

Yesterday was International No Diet Day. I had a sort of social hiatus during my move so that I could focus on the things that needed to get done and was relieved to celebrate the end of that and the beginning of a fabulous summer outdoor season with a BBQ at my friends’ Deb and Anne’s place. They have a gorgeous backyard which is perfect for parties.

We’ve been having an insane amount of rain in Brooklyn, but it stopped for the afternoon–just long enough to enjoy the BBQ and the company.

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My look was a little bit Serial Mom. I’m loving my collared cotton wrap dresses these days. Also featured are Bryn and Taueret. Taureret is raising money for her Fierce, Fat and Fly for Queers for Economic Justice amazing race adventure.

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We celebrated bodies in all of their forms, but mostly just by being together and goofing off. This is Loren offering me a ticket to the Gun Show.

Golda of Body Love Wellness posted a great list of 16 Reasons Not to Diet for INDD and joined us for the festivities. The picture I got of her wasn’t great, so I won’t post it. But imagine her among these lovelies.
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My friend Eden in a vintage, flowing frock.

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Deb’s fabulous slip dress layering. Over jeans with a comfy sweater. An important reminder that you can easily keep wearing slip dresses and lingerie in all sorts of weather!

Muse brought 30 gourmet cupcakes, which I delightfully distributed to our crowd of about 25-30 folks.
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This BBQ was a great example of my favorite kind of activism. A fun, easygoing celebration of people, bodies, and friendship with the addition of cupcakes, chicken wings and champagne punch.

What did you do for INDD?

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