I Got Back Together With My Ex And Started Relationship Coaching With The Lesbian Love Guru

I Got Back Together with My Ex and Started Relationship Coaching with the Lesbian Love Guru

With the heady mix of old intimacy and new relationship energy, I suggested we might want to get relationship coaching. In fact, neither of us is willing to call each other “girlfriend” yet because we want to eliminate fears of slipping back into old communication patterns and the stuff that was so hard before. It hasn’t happened yet, we’ve done a great job of communicating through rough spots; often we just stop a conversation that feels like it could get sticky and awkwardly back out of it. But it could happen, and a professional might help us set the kind of foundation we never had before.

Enter Christine Dunn-Cunningham, the Lesbian Love Guru, who I met over the summer. I was thinking of working with her as a single person who wanted to open myself up to finding the future Mx. Branlandingham.

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Link Farm: Marriage is not a Coupon to Redeem, International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers, Supporting a Loved One through PTSD

“Marriage is like a chlorinated community pool that we now have access to. I think that people forget that queers have been swimming in the ocean the whole time. We have always had to be creative about how we create our love relationships and, now that we don’t have to be creative, I hope we still can be.”

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Mind Diet: Ways I’m Tuning my Radio Dial to Joy

I told Shaina about the three events and she said, "You're doing great! These things are just telling you you're on the right path! What you need to do is change your radio frequency to joy and this stuff won't affect you so hard."

She explained that we vibrate on different frequencies. It's very similar to how thoughts control your life (see Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life for a great primer on the law of attraction). If you're on a dial where you think everything is against you, shift it up a few notches and vibrate on joy. Focus on happiness, silliness, playfulness, creativity.

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Lean into the Discomfort and Breathe: 10 Strategies for Moving Through Grief and Loss in the Wake of a Break-Up

In helping other heartbroken and healing folks out there, I made a list of strategies I am using right now to get through when the only way out is through. My friend Elisabeth told me last week, on a particularly bad day when I listened to too much Taylor Swift (she helps until she hurts), "Lean into the discomfort and breathe." Much easier said than done, but I know it can be done because I am actually doing it right now.

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FAT SEX WEEK: Three Books To Help You Have Better Sex While Fat (Regardless of Whether Or Not You’re Single)

You can keep the learning going, single or while in relationships, with a cadre of lovers or while between regular bouts of getting banged. Doing the work of getting to know your body and getting to know yourself sexually is a gift you give yourself for the rest of your life. There are lots of different ways to learn about sex--there is so much knowledge available to willing explorers. Below are three body positive resources that will help you get in touch with your sexuality from a body positive perspective!

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50 Shades of Glitter: On Self-Examination and Shifting Desires

If we're coming from a place of acknowledging there are so many different ways to be Femme, why is it valid to make a blanket statement that people aren't attracted to Femmes at all?

I also want to make it clear that this post is as much addressed to Femme-identified folks who don't do Femme on Femme Action (FOFA) as much as non-Femme identified folks.

I've addressed this tired line before, focusing on debunking Femme as high maintenance. Now I want to focus on shifting desire and whether the idea that one can actually say they all the time never are attracted to Femmes.

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Lesbian Jack Kerouac Gay American Road Trip Part 5: Wyoming, Salt Lake City and Freedom

Once on the highway I was still feeling the buzz of the love from Cam's house and how nurtured I was feeling. I was enchanted by the expansive rolling beige hills of Colorado and just as I was about to enter Wyoming saw a big buffalo cut out sign. Thinking "It would be really cool if that was actually a buffalo ranch" BAM, there were buffalo. Roaming.

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New Episodes of the Lesbian Tea Basket

My friend Fae stopped by today and mentioned she hadn't seen a new Lesbian Tea Basket recently and I realized it's because I haven't posted them to my blog! How negligent.

Darlings, cozy up to your computers and watch two sorta bummed episodes. I have mentioned previously that my job of three years is ending (second layoff in 3 years--where are the small business bail outs, Obama!?!) and quite suddenly last week my relationship of four months ended. Ironically right after I bought a box of tea, so it's randomly tea related.

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Music Monday: Lovers!

You know who will give these feelings in a way that my fellow musical emotional cutters will totally appreciate? Lovers will give it to you in the hurty way--hard and with a tortured look in their eyes. I saw Lovers live for the first time at Michfest a couple of weeks ago and have renewed my love for them from a firey and passionate place in my heart reserved for the most poetic and heart-breaking music.* You know how some music can take you on an emotional journey and relies on the instruments? The way Carolyn Berk sings you can tell she's feeling every moment.

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