My pal Buck Angel created a sex toy specifically for trans men! I thought Fat Sex Week XXL was a great opportunity to find out from my Fat FTM friends if the stroker works for all bodies.
Let's first talk about why this is important--fat people are taught that we're not fuckable. All oppressed people are taught to not take up space and that we should be as invisible as possible. When we try so hard to not take up space it's actually very physically and psychologically disempowering.* In a society that doesn't see fat bodies as valuable and the porn that celebrates diverse body size is considered fetish, most fat folks have to go through a ton of self work to empower ourselves enough to thoroughly enjoy sex.
There's a lot of scaffolding that goes in to feeling free and embodied enough for body oppressed people to have an orgasm, it's wonderful when work that centers fat pleasure arrives on the scene to help!
Sparklez says in our interview, "Trans women are worth more dead than alive. We have more bio power dead than alive." Let's change this and amplify the voices of Black Trans Women! It starts with listening to their perspective (like this interview!) and it moves to giving opportunities for work, housing and community organizing that respects and center their needs and experiences.
If you are interested in hearing a smart woman talk about owning her body, performing erotic dance, selling sex toys, living a very realistic NYC performance artist life, subverting beauty standards, and finding a place to express yourself while being weird or exaggerated, you should watch this documentary.
Beloved readers, here’s what’s been going on in my life lately. Your girl is getting great press. I started my new aerobics class Fat Kid Dance Party. We're finally moving! I'm throwing myself into spiritual healing for my grief. Bevin's Tea is still brewing.
I love gender inclusive body positive community space. Being explicit about this gathering principal helps people feel at ease in new social circles. When I was planning my move to LA many people complained about a dearth of queer community events and spaces, but thanks to Iris and Virginia's hard work, there's a thriving new crowd about to inhabit a permanent brick and mortar space--Cuties coffee bar!
Enter Biscuit Reynolds. He was super snuggly with us and really sweet. The thing I wanted most in a cat was a good snuggler. He was supposedly 4 or 5 years old, had been surrendered by a previous owner who had adopted through the rescue. The owner was a touring musician whose roommate let Biscuit get out and he got lost for a few days.
Some of the best gifts I have given myself were making decisions, even when I didn’t know how to move forward. The decision to stop hating my fat body. The decision to pursue an art career instead of law. The decision to move to LA. The decision to be myself, no matter what. Authenticity is freedom and the gateway to real connection.
In 2011 I made a decision to have a close relationship with my Grandmother.
In light of the tremendous success of the Womens’ Marches throughout the country this weekend, a lot of people are feeling a strong call to action but don’t know where to start. I have a simple, five minute journaling exercise that can help!
On Friday Dara, me and my friend Rick Sorkin hosted Love & Resistance, a Shabbat Dinner party centering activist uplift. We had a number of amazing presenters and Dara’s facilitation of ‘From Words to Action: Changing the Way we Organize with Love & Resistance’ was a hit. (She's a professional facilitator and she's fabulous.) I thought the content of her thirty minute facilitated discussion was a fabulous place for folks to use for self-reflection about their activism.