LA Week Three: Overwhelm, Gratitude And You Can’t Make Old Friends

LA Week Three: Overwhelm, Gratitude and You Can’t Make Old Friends

We’re in our third week in LA!

Dara went on her first business trip back to NYC on Saturday. She’s in leadership development consulting and packed up her sleeping bag coat to go back to the frigid temps for meetings.

I had a visitor for the weekend--my BFF from Girl Scout Camp, Spunky came down from Sacramento to help out at the house. When we planned the trip I told her, “This whole thing is probably going to be just house projects.” I had no idea the gusto with which Spunky would throw herself into the tasks before her.

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How We Found Our House In LA

How We Found Our House in LA

As soon as we decided to move to LA I insisted I would only move into a house. They have all of these houses out here that are 2 bedroom, 1 bath bungalows, with little yards and washer/dryers and no walls sharing with anyone else. I've never lived in a stand alone house as an adult.

A huge part of why I was so ready for a departure from NYC was to live in an area that had less population density. Not that LA is a bunch different but it is more spread out. My apartment building was a huge pre-war beauty, with a Flintstones meets Camelot style grand lobby and truly the biggest two bedroom apartment of anyone I knew. But it was also a box in a building full of boxes, with people surrounding me at all times.

As I've developed my woo, I am realizing how much space I need, physical, emotional, spiritual. It's helpful for me to get recharged in places where all I can see in one direction is what (in my belief) the Goddess made. Nature. The beach. The forest. The rolling Smokey Mountains. The desert. It's really exciting for me to get to live in a climate where my seasonal depression will be more low key.

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I Tackled The Bin: Loving Myself Through Paper Adulting

I Tackled the Bin: Loving Myself Through Paper Adulting

I used to think that going to the dentist was my least favorite adulting task. I can't believe I have to go and pay money for the privilege. I mildly resent it even though I really like my dentist, I just hate that it has to happen.

Now I realize that filing is absolutely my least favorite task. Filing and it's supremely aggravating cousin, dealing with the mail.
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How I Use A Positive Outlook As An Activist To Cope When The World Seems Terrible

How I Use A Positive Outlook as an Activist to Cope When the World Seems Terrible

I use a positive outlook as a coping mechanism in the face of prejudice and oppression. As a fat, queer, female, working class raised person, I am not supposed to love myself. But I do, and I have a much better life because of it. As a person who believes in the inherent worth and dignity of all people, I will not sit silently by and watch the world I live in crumble. I believe this world, this country, this city can do better. I know I have control over myself and my actions, so I am going to do better. I know that I can control my thoughts and going into a negative space grinds my work to a halt.

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I Went To The DNC’s Women’s Leadership Forum Conference And It Was Rad!

I went to the DNC’s Women’s Leadership Forum Conference and it was Rad!

October 22nd and 23rd I attended the Democratic National Committee's Women's Leadership Forum's 22nd Annual National Issues Conference in Washington, DC. Say that five times fast. In short, it was wildly more awesome than I expected it to be.

In this article I go down the rabbit hole about how much I enjoyed hearing Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Jamilah Lemiuex, Elizabeth Plank, Nina Turner, Laurel Richie, Tina Tchen, Jana Babatunde-Bey and many more powerful and amazing women speak at this event!

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Saying Goodbye To NYC: On Leaving, Change, Grief And Anxiety

Saying Goodbye to NYC: On Leaving, Change, Grief and Anxiety

I have this grief about leaving Brooklyn that hits me in waves. I am profoundly curious and excited about this new chapter in my life. I haven't experienced a drastic geographic change in 15 years. I'm a totally different person than I was when I left CA. I'm so curious what it is going to be like. But also, I'm bummed about leaving a lot of the things I love about NYC behind. I'm working really hard not to let my grief and anxiety interfere with my ability to love the process and let go of NYC in a mindful way.

When I was 29 and my fiance had just broken up with me and I was kind of a disaster, my friend Kelli Dunham gave me a cd about the grief process. I didn't realize at the time that you could have grief about things that weren't death. I just thought you powered through yucky feelings by ignoring them. Learning how to deal with grief and anxiety has been a long road and I'm still working through it.

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I’m Totally Having So Much Fun On Snapchat Here’s Why

I’m Totally Having So Much Fun on Snapchat Here’s Why

Recently a couple of bloggers I like mentioned that they were Snapchatting. When I got a new phone I decided to try it again.

Snapchat is so different now and I’m really enjoying it!

Here are some things I’ve been doing over at my Snapchat story:

Tours of where I’m at (I travel soooo much sometimes, especially in the last few months)
Narrating my favorite parts about NYC
Nightlife adventures—the last couple of weeks I’ve been going out a lot!
Cute videos of Macy
Tiny diary-like snippets (e.g. a couple weeks ago I talked about how like how I leave blank space in the calendar intentionally so I have time for mini side adventures)
Goofing off with my friends (When I hang with Victoria chances are she might be scantily clad and when I hang with Jacqueline she will usually do a boob shimmy for my snapchat viewers)
Dance party at the Bed Bath and Beyond (that happened with Dara)
A tour of a sparkly and amazing Femme apartment (Hi Bridget!)
Wedding venue I officiated

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Dollypalooza Is Friday, Look At Our Amazing Silent Auction

Dollypalooza is Friday, Look at Our Amazing Silent Auction

You guys, last year I produced Dollypalooza on a faithful impetus after a really profound and spiritual visit to Dollywood during a difficult time in my life. (Dara was going through chemo, my super generous friend and philanthropist Jess whisked me off to Dollywood, we went to Night of 1,000 Dollys in Knoxville and couldn't get into the club it was so crowded.) So I risked literally every penny I had to secure the $2,000 bar minimum at the venue and the stipends I promised all of the best Dolly performance artists I knew in NYC and Philly. It ended up being a huge success, even though the show started at 11PM! We also raised $1,400 for Dolly's Imagination Library charity through our raffle and Jess, our matching donor!

This year I wondered if I got the venue for an earlier show (7PM doors, 8PM show) if we could get more folks in the house and if we could raise even more for the Imagination Library. I am aiming for $10,000. Maybe that's bananas, but we worked really hard to get silent auction prizes and raffle prizes that might get us close! Like Dolly says, "You'll never know what you're capable of until you're brave enough to try!"

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