The Queer Fat Femme Guide to Surviving Getting Stood Up
I got stood up on Sunday night. Since one of my Queer Fat Femme values is to turn rage into productivity, I decided to share with you my Stand Up Survival Guide.
Additions to the Queer Lexicography: Polyamory Edition
Side Dish: An apt way to describe a special lover who is not your main lover or partner. As further explicated by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha when I threw the term around her the other day: “You can enjoy a meaty entrée on its own, but how much better is it with a delicious side of greens or okra? Giving you vitamins and tastes that you just don’t get with the main dish. Making both taste more delightful in the mouth. How lovely.”
Correspondence: Aqueel or Michael
From the myspace mailbag:
Hi, Nice profile 🙂
Just wondering, do u ever flirt with men ?
If not, would you ever flirt just for fun ?
Michael
Additions to the Queer Lexicography: Dry Spell Edition
I have the following updates to the Queer Lexicography to present unto you.
The first, courtesy of Zuleikha Mahmood, co-founder of the Femme Sharks.
Critically underbanged. It’s a great alternative to the term “dry spell” but can also be used to describe Lesbian Bed Death and any really unsatisfying sex. She used it in a craig’s list ad of all places, to request that someone help her protest her state of being. It worked, too, she totally found her recent boo from it and is now contentedly well-banged.
Guest Post: Stacy Bias on the Hegelian Dialectic and HWP on Craig’s List
Let’s talk about HWP. You craigslist junkies will likely know what this means, but for those who haven’t had the pleasure, I’ll expand the acronym. HWP = Height/Weight Proportionate. In other words, it’s a socially acceptable way to say “No Fatties.”
Catching the Brass Ring
We will love ourselves first. We don’t hold back but know there’s no rush. We are a dynamic duo. We rock our own shit but look great together. We close down bars and go for daybreak walks. We spend long Sundays in bed, talking, fucking and napping. We brunch with friends. Long talks about gender, sexuality, gossip, celebrity, art, media, social justice, movies, 80s nostalgic kitsch and how to incorporate 50s retro style in a modern decor.
Keeping the Crazy Between Us since 1998
In addition to being involved with one anothers’ personal growth (which has been leagues in 10 years because we’re too interesting to be static) we’re also the kind of friends who can pore over the details of every relationship with one another. We emote identically–so when I don’t know how to react to something because I’m all clouded with But I like her so much and I’m so attracted to her she will totally turn the mirror on me and say, “Look, the way she’s acting is not the way you act when you want someone to stick around. You’re worth more than that.”
Unicorn Dick
The next few weeks and follow-up visit have had me thinking a lot about Unicorn Dick in the context of the Queer Fat Femme lifestyle. Anyone who has done the dating thing as a Queer Femme knows how hard it is to find someone that embodies the killer combo of personality, looks, chemistry, smarts and timing.
Happy Validation* Day from FemmeCast!
Substantia Jones for the Adipositivity project asked me to select the “partner of my choice” to pose with me. Since Zoe is my Consigliere, BFF and life partner, I asked her first and she readily agreed.
Brian says this man was sent to me by Jesus
“Oh Luis, if I weren’t a lesbian I’d have such a crush on you.” He then told me about his daughter who is a lesbian. She’s in her mid-twenties and he said, “I just love her so much but I feel like I failed as a father.”
Medical Self-Advocacy for Queer Fat Femmes
Heather’s last wish for you, what she wants for us all, is to love
each other, and to love ourselves. To take care of our minds and
bodies, without fail and against all odds. And to know, beyond doubt,
that we are all beautiful, amazing beings. Never forget. This is what
she lived for. Take care of yourselves, you beautiful beings.