The other day my friend Matie asked whether Zoe’s Break-Up Survival Guide was still available somewhere. As is my practice when I know something’s on my blog I popped over, only to realize my website was down.

This is the sixth time I’ve had a catastrophic site is down issue with a WordPress site. (Hackers, theme errors, you name it.) I know now the value of a great webhost because DreamHost was able to help me get it back up and running from the back end and I still had my archives.

I had to leave my previous theme because those were the errors that shut down the site. Though I’ve correctly added a new header and customized this theme it’s still not working and the site still kinda looks broken even though it’s not fundamentally broken. (Kinda like my heart and my spirit this past year.)

I’m still here. The website is still here. I want to keep the archives up because I know this blog platform has helped folks on their journeys. I also still have some bloggin’ in me.

I can’t even begin to tell you how different my life is from the recent posts up here. I am now single, after planning a wedding pretty publicly. I now live on the Olympic Penninsula in Washington State. The short version is that I couldn’t afford to keep living in LA–I tried my darndest. I got a sublet down the street from my mom and am typing this while looking at the forest and some cute birds that are visiting.

I’m still teaching Fat Kid Dance Party Aerobics, the class I created to sweep the margins of mainstream fitness and make aerobics for anyone of any body. I have a lot less touring and in person classes to offer for lack of capital and financial support. I remain committed to my weekly online class and have a small group of regulars who send me sweaty triumphant post aerobics pics that I treasure.

I’m on Episode 20 of my podcast and through a lot of life tumult keep putting out a new episode every Friday morning. It’s a lot about self care and weathering the storms of life and sharing the wisdom of my incredible friends. I think of it as a party where I get to introduce all of my friends to one another.

Right after I moved my main email I use with friends (it begins with iheart) stopped working. Google won’t let me log into it to fix it even though I have the password. So if you tried to email me and it bounced back, that’s why. Try me at queerfatfemme at gmail (which also wasn’t working for awhile because of forwarding failure but now is back up).

I have to wonder if people have tried to email me and it bounced or tried to come to my site and it wasn’t working (no idea how long). Or tried to text me at my old New Jersey phone number and no response.

I assure you, in spite of technical difficulties, in spite of all the things. I’m still kicking. At least aerobically kicking.

Knock me down 9 times I get up 10.

If you find value in what I do, my podcast, my instagram motivation or just love that this blog and Fat Kid Dance Party exist and want to see them move forward in the world, please be encouraged to donate!

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Love y’all. Thanks for continuing to show up. <3