I believe the idea of “getting closure” is a myth. I think we idealize “getting closure” where you meet your ex at a neutral coffee shop and share lattes like you’re in an early 90s episode of Friends and you talk about your relationship and get all of those answers you are really missing that will help you tidy everything up like you fold your sweaters and put them away for the summer. Emotions are messy and crazy. You have no control over the other person and what they’re going to say to you. Sometimes they won’t “give” you anything (as I’m experiencing now) or they’ll just do or say the same dissatisfying shit that lead to your break-up in the first place. Zoe’s Break-Up Survival Guide says (the gist of) “Try not to worry about how or why, try accepting that it is.” Learn your new normal. But, I think, unless you’re in the best possible break-up working in out in couples therapy or something, you won’t be able to just walk away and say “that was all neatly packaged, it feels closed.”
I’m in an anonymous fellowship for family and friends of alcoholics and it has happened a few times where a friend has come up to me after a meeting and said in hushed tones, “So, I was googling [insert search term here] and I found your blog!” I mean, as anonymous as you try to be I’m pretty recognizable and I use my real first name. So. It’s always really funny what brings people to the site, and thigh chafing (or chub rub) is a pretty common entry point.
Me in a dress on a summer adventure, saved by the magic of chub rub prevention.
I laughed and responded to my friend that I’m sort of an intrepid explorer of the ways to improve access to fashion and comfort in the summertime. She is on the thin side and it is always a good reminder that thigh chafing can affect lots of people with lots of different bodies–and you can never tell what someone’s body really looks like in clothing. The bodily equivalent to “Don’t compare your insides to other people’s outsides.” See also, Lessons from the Nudie Workshop.
All that is to say that people bring up thigh chafing to me all the time and I’m ever exploring ways to prevent and treat chub rub. This summer I talked about it briefly to a couple of folks and I was given the tip that this all-natural diaper rash cream called Butt Paste is great at preventing chub rub.
Using solvents for thigh chafing prevention (I do a whole run down on the various types I know of in my living document The Queer Fat Femme Guide to Preventing Thigh Chafing aka Chub Rub) is totally dependent on your own body chemistry, some work better than others. But I thought this was a great choice because it’s natural (or as “natural” as something that is marketed as all natural can be) and it works for prevention as well as treatment.
It comes in lots of sizes, and I found Butt Paste in 2 oz for $5.99 on Amazon. There is also a Maximum Strength Butt Paste. According to some of the online reviews folks prefer it because it is natural, effective and has a pleasant slight vanilla scent and most other diaper rash creams smell like medicine. Apparently the maximum strength is also good treatment if your chafing has gotten to the point of open sores.
I’ve added this product to the big Thigh Chafing post. A reader also posted her review/recommendation for a new shorts solution in the comments section if you want to check that out.