Hi Pals! It is Validation Day and I tend to write blog posts every year addressing this fact. So let’s just keep the tradition alive.
Lauren, Damien, Me and Fancy Feast at Rebel Cupcake 21: Enchanted Forest
I occasionally feel salty about the burst of couple privilege but honestly, whatever. Sometimes you got somebody, sometimes you have yourself and that’s still pretty incredible.
Everyday Glitter Item the First:
This weekend I was excited to visit my niece Etta Pearl. She was born on February 9 and just turned 3. I remembered that when she was born I was off in Toronto visiting my sweetheart at the time and was so excited to come back to the States to go meet her.
And now she’s 3! I don’t feel like I’ve aged a bit, but I have and I’m 33 now and it’s so fun to get to know and care for this tiny person who is now a person who talks and tells stories.
This was us last summer.
Etta’s first birthday was a tea party and her moms, Christie and Becky, have always been big tea drinking friends. I was excited to do a Lesbian Tea Basket highlighting some of their tea accessories. Etta was kind enough to co-host with me. We are also repping Sunday morning jammy time realness.
I told Etta Pearl this weekend, as we played with the remainder of the balloons in the living room, to not let anyone buy her combination Valentine’s Day/Birthday presents. And then her sibling arrived this morning at 6:30AM! So as soon as Ayla Josephine is old enough, I’ll give them the birthday is separate from Valentine’s Day speech. I feel super honored that I got to spend Etta Pearl’s last weekend as an only child with her. And I can’t wait to meet little baby AJ!
Everyday Glitter Item the Second:
I was asked to be an esteemed judge for the Marimacho Hunky Heartbreaker contest. I love thinking and talking about fashion. This was a dream gig.
You can read our criteria and check out the winners here. I had a really great time with all of the folks who were judges. I really love when I am reminded there are limitless nooks and crannies in queer Brooklyn with lots of cool folks I don’t know yet. Also Ivette is a great cook and she made us enchiladas.
I highly endorse a perusal of the hunks and dandies and hunky dandies on the Marimacho Tumblr!
Everyday Glitter Item the Third:
I am struggling with my inner perfectionist about getting back to my “balance.” I keep forgetting that my whole life was just dumped upside down and it takes awhile to get into the groove of a “new normal” and also balance is an art, not a science. It’s a series of decisions regarding your self-care, your priorities, your learning how to check-in with yourself and adjust as needed. I got a pretty good groove on balance before I can get there again. So I’m finding a lot of glitter in the moments where I simply remind myself to be gentle and be patient.
I am super enjoying new rituals in my life as a way to attain balance and be tender with myself. I am learning so much new stuff at work and my brain is firing on many cylinders, so I really need to be gentle. I stop at about 5 every day, make a cup of tea, and turn on Prince for my Prince happy hour.
Everyday Glitter Item the Fourth:
Two incredible compliments from last week’s Rebel Cupcake. One regular party goer and performer told me Rebel Cupcake was the only dance party they felt like they could be 100% themselves. That is exactly the kind of atmosphere I hope to foster. Another gay couple from London was on a bar tour of virtually every gay bar in NYC and they happened upon RC while visiting Sugarland and said it was by far the best party they had been to. What a wonderful thing to say!
Me and my new roommate Damien at Rebel Cupcake!
Everyday Glitter Item the Fifth:
My friend Jack summed things up pretty well for me around Whitney Houston’s sudden death. It’s been very sad for me to think about and process. I think anyone who has lost someone (whether through their death or other departure) to drugs or alcohol knows the loss it brings up. She was also someone who was really important to our culture and was a cultural touchstone in many of our childhoods. I remember distinctly my single mom’s record collection and how Whitney featured very prominently among those albums. Her songs were each very intense emotional journeys and they are so amazing. It is weird that Facebook is the place where most folks process this stuff, but it is part of what the internet culture has created. And I was surprised to find that Whitney’s death was not a trending topic amongst my friends this weekend–it was the ONLY topic.
Anyway, my solidarity. Drop a few Whitney quotes around your friends these days.
Everyday Glitter Item the Sixth:
Check out this new video for Eat Everything from Rocco Katastrophe featuring Margaret Cho, Athens Boys Choir and the hottie upstart De=MC2.
So, whether your Validation Day is spent with friends emotionally eating maple donuts, on a date with a longtime sweetheart, at home with your cats, on a promising first date, or someplace between all of those, I hope you are gentle with yourself and do something extra glittery, just for the hell of it. Thank you for reading my blog and being part of this amazing journey with me! xoxoxo
As you know, I strive for excellence in all areas of my life, and this blog is no exception. I want to keep bringing you the parade of abundance that you come here for, and I simply can’t sustain at the rate I’m going. So I’m asking for your help.
Asking for help is hard, but I know if I don't get ahead, I won't be able to do the work I feel so passionately about. After listening to my friends and my heart, I’ve come to the realization that I need to open this up to the public.
I have SO MUCH I want to bring you! I’m finalizing my memoir, have several episodes of Lesbian Tea Basket just waiting to be unleashed, have so much love to spread, so much to share about the turns of my life over the past 6 months, and I can’t wait to share with you!
If I have I made you smile, helped you cope, given you insight, helped you climb out of a bad relationship, threw a party where you met your sweetie, brought perspective to your messy breakup, or made your life amazing in any other way, that’s truly a reward of its own, but warm fuzzies sadly don’t pay my vet bills, medical bills or buy a new computer.
Please consider donating and picking up an awesome gift along the way! Maybe think of it as a subscription to something you love to read and want to sustain! Please consider signal boosting, as well! It’s cliche, but every little bit really does help.
I am so grateful for the life I live, and for all of you readers for your comments, affection, and strength. I’m also especially grateful for my amazing, worldwide queer family. We’re changing the world. Thank you for letting me be a part of it!
Having a viral video is kind of like regular life except also like it’s your birthday. On Facebook your friends are writing really nice things about you when sharing your cool video. You get tons of email. And your girlfriend buys you something cute for each milestone. We had lattes for our one millionth view and I got flowers when it hit two million. Birthday treatment. (I always worked to femmifest a loving and supportive partner and I totally have one now. Visioning works!)
The UofT was a pretty fancy school [ivy, wealth] and so there were a fair amount of people who appeared to be leisurely rich white folks in expensive workout clothing lifting 5-lb-weights repeatedly who gunked up my groove. Amidst their comfort I started to think: if they can enjoy having a body, why can't I? If they can aim for strength and muscle-mass, why can't I? One of the pools was in a building that had a stained-glass roof and I would do the backstroke for a quarter-mile, unable to stop smiling. I got ballsy, rode my bicycle everywhere on the well-marked lanes of Toronto's downtown core, I stood on my bike and kicked out my legs in joy, rode in the snow and rode in the rain; I rode in heels and rode when my heart was in my throat, breaking.